One Month Postpartum – Life After the Twins Arrival
Today is my actual due date; January 6, 2018; and instead of anticipating the twin’s arrival, tomorrow they will be one month old!
What a WHIRLWIND this past month has been. It feels like it flew by, yet I remember each night, feeling like that feeding would NEVER end. Nights and days all mesh into one, but maybe that’s only because you don’t get an actual night’s sleep to differentiate the two!
Becoming a mother has been a surreal, amazing, and exhausting experience. Never have you ever felt so relied upon. After all, becoming a parent is the only job you're expected to do something, without being shown how or taught how to do it first. Yet, it somehow comes to you naturally. You’ve also never had so much love for someone who doesn’t even know your name.
Photo by the incredible Emily Suzanne Harris
Life with twins is, well, it’s our normal now. You may call it chaotic, but I’m getting used to just calling it family.
The biggest new adjustment for me, has been breastfeeding. Breastfeeding wasn’t immediate, like you would think. It took almost a week for my milk to fully come in. Since the twins were preemies they couldn’t afford to lose weight, so we had to supplement with formula from day 1. (Something I was not expecting.) The 4 days we were in the hospital after their birth, I must have cried to the nurses and lactation consultant at least once a day. Why did I have to use formula? Was my milk ever going to come in? Would I even be able to produce enough for two little mouths? As a new mother, you feel a lot of pressure!
My advice is; have trust and patience with your body. It takes time. If breastfeeding is important to you, then perseverance is key. Keep trying, keep pumping, and you’ll get there.
And, formula isn’t an end all. To this day, we still might use a bottle of formula at night between both boys as a ‘top up’ since it keeps their little bellies fuller, longer. As a mother (or parent), you have to do whatever is best for you and your baby. Formula, or breast. BUT, don’t get discouraged if breastfeeding doesn’t come naturally overnight, I’m learning that for most people, it’s something you have to work at, and eventually, one day, it will all click!
The desire to be a ‘perfect’ mom hits you hard. With that being said, I’m more laid back than I thought (and more laid back than others thought I would be as well). Things seems to be instinctive for the most part. You just do, you literally become a mom in the blink of an eye, and you just adjust. You create your new normal, and guess what; your baby (or babies!) have no idea what normal is, so they are learning and adjusting with you.
It isn’t all struggles and exhaustion. Your heart will never feel as full as when you stare at your baby. Baby snuggles are the most incredible thing. That baby smell, the way they curl right into you and depend on you whole heartedly, and the little noises they make. You could literally stare at them all day. They just fill your heart with so much joy. The little coos they make and the looks they give you, you’ve never seen anything so precious!
Yes, it’s true, I’ve never been more tired!!! (To be fair, I sometimes even question my own sanity during a 3am feeding with one baby crying, awaiting his turn). But, I’ve also never been so excited to watch someone or something grow. The lives my husband and I created are nothing short of miraculous and I’m so hopeful for them in the future. I’m anxious to watch these two men grow and experience all of their firsts with them. And, watching my husband turn into a dad has only made me love him even more!
Photo by the incredible Emily Suzanne Harris
All I know is; becoming a new mom has been more than I expected, yet better than I ever imagined!
Cheers! And, have a great weekend everyone!